Celebrating 40th Anniversary Covid Style
Covid has made life challenging has it not? This week, my sweetie and I celebrate 40 years married! For us this is a huge milestone. I know we're not the first to accomplish this nor will we be the last but still we're happy, proud and amazed to celebrate it! From the get-go we've had the odds stacked against us, marrying so young and yet here we all are, smiling and happy to share in our news.
Originally we planned a trip to Vegas with our friends Paulette and Glen, who also hit their 40th this year! A few days in sin city sounded like fun to us. Covid tho, had different ideas and has made us realize who and what are most important and for us that meant being with our kids. These girls are part of the reason we hung in there some days! As all married couples do, we've had our fair share of hardships but through them all, we clung to each other rather than pull apart. Perhaps there's a lesson in there? When the going gets tough turn to one another for support and love.
As you can see in the pic, we celebrated together but apart. We dined at Villa Cornelia, here in London, On and they were very accommodating to us to make us feel comfortable with today's standards. We were close enough to see, hear and speak to one another and share in the celebration. We had the parlor all to ourselves. It's all a woman can ask for. It's not often we all get together without the children, in fact, I'm pretty sure this is the first time since our eldest grandchild was born! We are so grateful that we were able to do this!We highly recommend Villa Cornelia if you're looking for an intimate, delicious, fine dining experience!
Also, yesterday I got my nails done, as one does when she's headed out to a fancy dinner to celebrate her 40th anniversary. I went to London Nails Club and Tammy was doing my nails, in conversation I mentioned I was going out for dinner tonight for our 40th. It's not unusual to share this kind of info when getting one's nails done so I thought nothing of it. Next thing you know, I'm getting my coat on to leave and she won't let me go, her co-worker comes flying in the door with something hidden behind her back. Tammy had sent her out to get me roses for our anniversary! How crazy is that? Honestly, people can be so kind. Made me cry. So if you're in town, go see Tammy to get your nails done, she's a hoot and her business is really hurting because of Covid. They are being very cautious and taking all necessary steps seriously.
For the last month, my Sweetie and I have been reminiscing a lot. I mean the memories are just flying around, it's kind of crazy. We put on a 70's playlist and boom, there are the memories. The music just brings them back, how we met, how we moved to Toronto, two kids with $75 thinking we had the world by the tail! I won't bore you as I know many of you have read The Monkeys In My Dreams, if not, send me a message and we'll fix that right up!
Just the other day I had a young married woman (I really want to say girl) ask me what the secret is to a happy marriage. Whoa, loaded question or what? I could answer that in so many ways, I could get all philosophical and give all kinds of advice but truly the answer is put in the work in the beginning. There will be hard days, there will, there's no doubt. I know you don't see those in the television shows, magazines or Facebook, you only see the fancy dinners, the roses, the lovely gifts and all those are true but nobody shows the messier side of life and that is where love shows up, when life gets messy. When my Sweetie and I have struggled with hardships, we forced ourselves to work it out. We had the hard conversations, we worked on what needed work, we know neither of us is perfect and happily pointed that out to each other! A little too happy if you ask me! But seriously, communication is THE most important key to a happy life, married or not, if you're not able to tell your partner how you truly feel about anything, then there's an issue. You should be able to talk freely (hopefully you are home doing it and not in the middle of Walmart) and not worry that some day down the road, your words will fly back at you. We call that fair play, no using past fights/arguments in today's issue. That's in the past, leave it there. Play nice. This is how you build trust and that will you get you to 40 together and happy. You should be each other's safe place, a place to go when times get tough and they sure have lately, haven't they? Always have your partner's back and they'll always have yours.
I'm happy to report that once you've dealt with an issue, you should be able to deal with others as they come. You get better at it, you do. Eventually there'll be less to worry about or perhaps less often, just remember to breathe and really listen when your partner is talking. I mean hear what they are saying, repeat it if you have to, then you can tell them how you really feel without shouting, tears are fine but shouting helps nobody. I guess I got all philosophical after all!
I'm going to end this story with a funny story...recently I was complaining about getting up in the night to use the bathroom. i do it too often! My sweetie who is a man of routine, rituals, call it what you want, it's how he keeps sane, by sticking to his routines, he says "why don't we switch sides of the bed? You'll have a straight run to the toilet!" I thought this was a brilliant idea and went for it. Now I am all for opportunity, change, open to most things in life so how could I not love this idea? We said, we'd give it a week. After day one, neither of us slept the night, tossed and turned, day two wasn't much better. Day 3 I slept hard, how could I not, I was exhausted! Day 4, still I didn't sleep but I wasn't ready to admit that I, too, like my routines, my spots in the world! I always give my sweetie a hard time about his 'ruts' and how he won't change things but here I was not sleeping because he wasn't to my right, guarding the door, my big protector! Ugh, I make myself nauseous sometimes! So on Day 5, I came home from work and the pillows and clock radios were put back to our old spots and life is back to normal, thank goodness! I did not take for granted how big a step that was for my Sweetie to give up his side of the bed and try it out, I know he did it for me, he had nothing to gain by giving up his side and that is what marriage is all about, being selfless when it's necessary.
My Sweetie, I love you to the moon and back and cherish our time together. May we have another 40 together! XO