Introduction

The Monkeys in My Dreams

The Monkeys In My Dreams is a book of stories that cross generations, stories that prove in spite of trauma, we can overcome, we can be kind and loving, we can be successful!

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I have known since I was a child that I’d write this book and that the title would be The Monkeys In My Dreams.  Then, with what began as an important conversation with my mother, I learned so much more about my family history.

A few years later I would move a couple hundred kilometers away from home and Mom and I began our Sunday morning ritual of our phone calls. It was our special time, her with her coffee and me with my tea, we’d cover all the minutiae of our week then I’d get my history lesson.  At times I was appalled; this was my family history, our legacy!  I hope you’ll find these stories as interesting as I have.  

My mother was adamant that I publish this book. On her deathbed she maintained the importance of this. She wanted people to learn from her history, she wanted to give her pain meaning. There had to be a reason she went through all that!

 My hope is that by reading my book, it will help you process your own emotional healing by seeing the parallels in our stories.

It rarely is pretty when delving into the past, it can be painful for some, and bring up raw feelings for others.  Mom felt it was our responsibility to use these dreadful experiences to bring about change.

I want to be clear that this is not a revenge book, there is no malice intended.  My mother and father were born in war time, times were different, people were suffering, life was hard and we didn’t have TV talk show hosts to tell us what is right or wrong!

 I want this book to empower people, to help them sort out their feelings, to give them strength to move on from any strained relationships in their life regardless if these people are still part of their life or not.

You will read stories about my father. I want you to know that in spite of his faults, I loved him.  In order for me to forgive him I had to come to a place where I realized that my father did the best he could with what he knew, he had no idea how his actions affected his family. By forgiving him, it has allowed me to unload that burden that I carried around for so many years.  

When my mother was on her deathbed, I asked her what she wanted most for her family. Her reply was that she wanted us to forgive one another. Mom was so very proud of her family; it was always so meaningful to her that her family not be undivided. I am happy to report that we are all working on this and I know Mom is up there nudging us all on. She is smiling.

With this book, I not only want to be a historian, I want to be the change maker in you! I want you the reader to read my book and take your life back! No more grudges to haul around, no more baggage! Forgive those that hurt you, you will see, it frees you! Since I chose to forgive those that hurt me, things started shifting for me. I am happier, more focused and able to write again. I no longer let it consume me. 

Stop talking about the hurt and betrayals and set it all free. You deserve peace. Forgive those that need forgiving. Mom would be so proud of you too!